Lost

I spent an hour staring at this screen trying to find the words to describe what is going through my mind. After the hour passed, I realized that the words will not come to me. The words may exist, but I have lost them. I have lost them the same way I have lost my tears. I cannot cry anymore. I don't know why, but it just doesn't happen. Words......that's all these are, just words. After an hour, I realized the only idea I could successfully convey is how pathetic I feel, how much I'm starting to hate myself, and how redundant I've become. I'm always on the side line waiting, trying to keep quiet, and letting everyone else be happy, but I even fail at that.....